“Part of the secret of helping your child become happier, better behaved, and more fun to be with is figuring out how to encourage good behaviours” –The Happiest Toddler on the Block
Imagine you are at a party and you overhear a friend whispering to someone how beautiful they think you look tonight. Now compare that feeling with the one you get when they tell you that directly. Most of us would take the compliment more to heart when we weren’t supposed to hear it. We tend to believe things we overhear and if we hear something whispered like a secret we believe them even more!
It’s just the same with your child. They will feel amazing when they overhear you gossiping about just how great they are. Even if your toddler doesn’t understand all of your words, they will pick up the admiring tone of your voice. Of course telling them something positive directly to them is good too and most of us do this a lot. Adding this strategy as a way to praise just gives them the message in another fun way.
As parents, we can learn new communication techniques that effectively get our intended messages across to our child. Sometimes this means being creative and trying new things until we discover what seems to be most meaningful to them and impacts their feelings and behaviour.
Try out The Gossiping Strategy following the steps below (taken from The Happiest Toddler on the Block):
1) Begin using it when your child is 15-18 months old. This is when they begin to understand that people whisper when they’re saying something extra important.
2) With your child nearby, cup your hand over your mouth and loudly whisper some praise about them to someone/something else. You can pretend to be on the phone or whisper to the birds outside – it all works! (ie. Psst...hey, Mr. Birdie! Ivee gave me such gentle kisses! Yes she did!).
3) After whispering praise, give your child a little understated praise directly (ie. Nice kisses).
4) Later on, you can tell someone else about this same thing. Your child will be even more pleased, proud and convinced it’s true.
About the Authors: Megan Stock, MSLP and Nicole Diduck, MSLP are authors, speakers, and the founders of Naturally Baby, a company that provides powerful information and products to help parents develop strong communication skills in their child. For more information, please e-mail info@naturallybaby.com or visit www.naturallybaby.com
